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  1. wgladys

    Foot…

    … Gun…

    … BANG!

    Dear Advertisers, YOU are the problem, not ad blockers. YOU are the ones who are annoying people off to such an extent that they want to use adblockers. YOU are the ones who left the door wide open for Malware. YOU are th eones whose bloated content costs me money to dlownload on mobile.

    You have got so wrapped up in the idea that getting your content in front of peoples’ eyeballs is the most important idea that you can’t see that people are fed up with their eyeballs bleeding as a result of all this crap!

    Try stepping back and taking a deep breath and considering *why* people are blocking your content and think that, just perhaps, there’s a better way of doing things.

    Or you can sit in your smug little echo chamber and ignore anyone who points out anything that conflicts with your idea that “Well, advertising’s good, isn’t it, so more advertising’s got to be even better, hasn’t it…?”

    So, how about this:

    Rules for advertisers

    I have a few rules advertisers must follow before I will disable Ghostery and NoScript. These rules are not too difficult because the internet once thrived when my rules were being followed, except for rule 6. If it was successful once, it can be successful again.

    (1) Absolutely no tracking in any way, no exception.

    (2) Absolutely no autoplay videos or animated ads of ANY kind except when I press ‘play’ on a video or when I click on a link for a video (and NOT a link for a story).

    (3) Absolutely no ads that cover part or all of a website.

    (4) Absolutely no ads that try to use my location. No “Shocking secret [city name] man discovers!”

    (5) Absolutely no ads that use Flash, Java, or Javascript, no exception.

    (6) Since you took the money, you are financial responsible for vetting your ads. If you ads injects or attempts to inject malware, you uncondiitonally indemnify me for all costs including my time AND any losses.

    (7) No ads for things I never buy.

    (8) No ads for things I already own. (Amazon!! WTF?)

    (9) No ads for things I will *never* own (take a guess, it will be 99.9999% of what you peddle).

    I will in return consider visiting your website perhaps once a month and tick a box for every single object, service or whimsy I *might* be interested in and you can send me a link to a PDF I will download and read.

    Otherwise, I will take all possible steps to block ads that consume cycles biological or electrical…

    Thank you.

    Signed

    Everyone you’ve pissed off.

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